I sat here this morning with a small dog paw resting on my leg. We’ve been attached at the hip since I returned from my wonderful trip south. Me, on a big adventure to learn how to trust myself. Her, on a spiral toward a place where she must surrender and trust others completely. One week in my life. Feeling so empowered and then so powerless. You can’t really script a better definition of what it is to be alive.
So there we sat this morning. Side by side. I can’t know how it feels to be her. She has cancer raging through her beautiful, old dachshund body and she can’t tell me what it feels like. She can’t tell me what she needs. I can feel the heat on her skin. I hear the labor of every breath. She is sitting in awkward ways in order to relieve the pressure on her belly. I know that much.
I’ve heard that to look straight into their eyes gives them the same feeling we get from a really good hug. And so I spend time locked in gazes with all of my pets. Even if it isn’t true, it surely does no harm. That should probably be some sort of threshold for us. Like the Hippocratic oath, we should “first, do no harm” .
I can’t save Sassy. That cancer is bigger than the both of us. But I can sit with her in all of my spare minutes and let her rest her paw against me. It’s kind of like we’re saying ” we got this “. Because together, we do ♡