Art and Pain

” Recognizing that people’s reactions don’t belong to you is the only sane way to create. If people enjoy what you’ve created, terrific. If people ignore what you’ve created, too bad. If people misunderstand what you’ve created, don’t sweat it. And what if people absolutely hate what you’ve created? What if people attack you with savage vitriol, and insult your intelligence, and malign your motives, and drag your good name through the mud?

Just smile sweetly and suggest – as politely as you possibly can – that they go make their own fucking art. Then stubbornly continue making yours. “

Last night I starting searching the ol’ braen-trust for some card ideas. I have to learn to think outside the box for one simple reason:  People have a limit when it comes to spending money on a card. My experience up until now puts that at about 8 bucks. I am not currently selling anywhere. The days of selling at The Twelve Step Shop and Countryside Floral and the florists in Ellensburg and Mercer Island are long past. The Gardens and Sunspaces in Duvall, gone too. Stargazer in Bellevue is still around but Sweet Spirit Candles ( where the owner chose what designs to order using a pendulum ) is nowhere to be found. It is a new day.

There was some success to be found at the International Women’s AA Conference. Mostly, that was framed art and it was such a wildly successful weekend I had no business ever going back to my postal job. Fear is a beast. It joins resentment and regret in this dark cave. I’ve walked around in there a time or two. Sometimes I feel like I’m being pulled back in. Either I will push back or I will succumb. I cannot do both.

After thinking about something new last night, it came to me in a moment of clarity this morning. I don’t need to change what I do, so much as I need to alter the scale. I know, cryptic. ( I am guilty of that a lot lately.)  I’m going to try something. It may not be great. It may not work out as I hope. People may look at them, say “cute” but never feel like it’s something they would buy. There has to be value. And what IS value ? Obviously everyone sees that differently.

And I will go on stubbornly making my art as I see fit.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

In other news today, I had that massage I’ve been trying to schedule. Since it is a part of a work injury I’m recovering from it is being paid for by the P.O. It seems only right since it was the P.O. that caused the damage. Massage was scheduled at a local PT office. No fancy salon for me today.

The room had fluorescent panels and the walls were painted yellow and gold. I think there was an attempt to create warmth by using that palette but it wasn’t successful. That type of lighting just gives me a headache. There was a country music station on which was agreeable, but nothing special. No howling winds today but I could almost hear raindrops, so there was some comfort in that. The table and sheets were clean and the therapist was friendly and personable.  She made it very clear before she started that it was “therapeutic ” and not what I may be used to. ( No lovely lavender  or vanilla lotion and soft lights, so, no, not what I am used to ) Immediately I took that to mean pain. No turning back at that point. I had to submit.

And it was heaven …

I know that massage isn’t for everyone. Some people cringe at the idea of having someones hands on them. I am not that person. I welcome it. I crave it. Muscle work is an art form. If you find someone good, someone who learns your particular structure and strengths and weaknesses, good gawd,  KEEP THEM. I’m prepared to see how I feel tomorrow, but so far she is a keeper. I may have to book a regular massage to get the ambience and the tenderness I love, but this may just help my shoulder heal and that is a good thing.

Art and massage are very similar to me.

Stretching out the tight places.

Submitting to the painful stuff to reach a healing point.

This afternoon, brilliant fall paint colors and ICE are my best friends.